Category: Words

I saw this in the news today and for some reason it made me think of my old pal and work colleague wee Ben:

The tonic wine Buckfast has been mentioned in 5,000 crime reports by Scotland’s biggest police force in the last three years, a BBC investigation has revealed.

Almost one in 10 of those crimes in the Strathclyde Police force area was violent, according to figures obtained by the broadcaster under Freedom of Information legislation. During that period the Buckfast bottle was used as a weapon 114 times.

Police said the figures suggested there is an association between Buckfast and violence. The findings are revealed in the programme BBC Scotland Investigates: The Buckfast Code tonight.

During the programme Superintendent Bob Hamilton of Strathclyde Police was asked whether the figures mean that Buckfast can be said to be associated with violence. He replied: “I think it’s clear from the figures that there is an association there.”

He added: “The figures are fairly clear that Buckfast is mentioned in a number of crime reports and over the period requested, the Buckfast bottle was used 114 times as a weapon.” Buckfast is produced by Benedictine monks in a Devon monastery. The investigation also looks at the ingredients of the drink and how they may affect the behaviour of consumers, potentially making them anxious and aggressive if drunk in large quantities.

Back from France, where I have advanced my snow and ice driving skills in a hired Megane. Initially there’s nothing quite as scary as descending mountain roads with switchbacks in conditions when you can’t see and road markings and the side of the road which has a sheer drop is only protected by broomstick handles painted red (aka snow poles). Bizarrely, after doing it two or three times, the fear is gone and replaced with a rather more hardened view in that if it was really that dangerous they’d have done something about it by now. Anyway if owning a snow shovel is a prerequisite for living on the plateau we are one step closer.

This is Pete’s band. Check out their demo EP.

The week before last I observed what can only be described as mincing, on a bike. Little Chinese bloke riding a bike with his knees bowing out at about 45 degrees and pretty much only his toes on the pedals. It is without doubt the campest display of bike riding I have ever seen, well perhaps with the exception of Raoul trying to ride his rigid IF down a peak district boulder infested descent and deciding that the best course of action was to avoid it completely.

The Evidence

Truth is however, that I too have been guilty of a degree of mincing. It’s the result of trying to ride a road bike with slick tyres on snow and ice and realising that you have the same degree of control as an Elephant handler trying to manoeuvre his big-eared and tusked mammal across a tightrope. It’s difficult and you know it could go wrong at any time.

As a result last night I gave the Roadrat a wash and bedecked it with a set of cross tyres for the first time since taking ownership. The result is a rugged and good looking bike, which feels infinitely more stable, has traction and can go around corners, even if the extra mass is noticeable. Perhaps more importantly, I can ride again with confidence, although the fear of being taken out by a sliding car, bus or ice cream van (okay last one is unlikely) still keeps me on my toes.

RATM make the UK Christmas Number One. Guitarist Tom Morello said that the campaign to prevent another X Factor number one had “tapped into the silent majority of the people in the UK who are tired of being spoon-fed one schmaltzy ballad after another”.

Frontman De la Rocha said the band would perform a free concert in the UK in 2010 to celebrate their chart win and added that proceeds from the single would go to homeless charity Shelter. Top result all around, unless you’re an untalented musician voted for by a zombie-like celebrity and tv obsessed public.

As Clint Boon said on XFM Manchester last week, it’s nothing personal against X Factor winner Joe McElderry, but that the music loving public, the ones that go to gigs and watch real music, was tired of X Factor drivel and that hopefully it would initiate a return to genuine music. The type of music where people write and sing their own songs and play their own intruments. The kind of music that makes it onto mountain bike videos.

For the owner of the pale blue Audi A6 that tried to cut me up and kill me on the bends of fury on the commute into work this morning:

Make RATM Christmas Number one and show Simon Cowell how much love there is for Shite X Factor.

Buy Killing in the Name Of from Amazon for 29p.

Cold enough to need gloves on the way into work now. Ended up with an ice cream headache after riding home in the freezing fog on Friday. The Sit Rep is that everything is normal for the time of year:

• Eejit pedestrians trying to get themselves run over by running across the road in front of traffic – “Lookout knobhead”.
• Stupid Cyclists riding bikes like they’re stolen with no regard for their safety or so you can see them – “Get some lights knobhead”.
• Drivers doing some blinding efforts, like pulling out to overtake without looking in their mirrors to see if anything is already overtaking – “Jezzzzzus that was close”.

All of which is not aided particularly by low light dazzling people – when there is sunshine that is. Can’t help but think it’s safer to commute in the dark.

I have been feeling rubbish recently. An unusual three days off work due to some ‘orrible lurgy going around meant I’ve been off the bike. Today I gingerly rode back in at what felt like a very slow pace, but one that didn’t stop me overtaking a few other riders. Maybe it wasn’t so shabby.

Still the ride was far from boring, some long haired lunatic was walking in the bike lane near work on a tight 90 degree right hander. Fortunately I could see him through the railings as I approached so a rather nasty collision was avoided. Instead he received a torrent of pinging and a ‘get a hair cut… knobhead’ send off.

…can be best described as wet. Rugby match on Friday night (Sale vs Wasps) cancelled due to pitch conditions and the southern softies running off home. Match on Sunday cancelled because the pitch resembled a lake. Riding achieved: nil.

This list of top dangers to commuters appeared recently:

1. Buzzing
2. Dooring
3. Drivers who park on the bike lane
4. Pulling out too close to the cyclist
5. Driving too close – tailgating
6. Harassment
7. Left Hook/Right Hook
8. Distracted Drivers
9. Indicating late, or not at all

Read more about each category here.