The Games, The Glory

The mountain bike section of the Commonwealth Games happened last night. Liam Kileen and Oli Beckingsale rode a tactical race and came away with a cracking result for Gold and Silver for England while Roy Hunt’s daughter (Amy) who can normally be found showing her opponents a clean set of wheels in the cyclocross circuit, cam ehome 4th in the womens race. A great ride by them all.

I’ve been talking to MacPuppy about some extra riding off the back of the TransAlp this summer. He’s invited us to play on his local trails near Grenoble and it looks like a great option from the photos I’ve seen so far. I can’t wait to get over there. He’s also talking about doing the trans-Vercors – a 1 day 100km event – at the beginning of September. Unless I have an unexpected change of career before then that I’m not expecting there’s no way that I’ll be doing that.

A more realistic prospect is going to the Southern hemisphere to ride the Cape Epic. Imagine doing the Trans Alp race but in a radically different environment. That’d be 900 gruelling kilometres and climbing totalling more than some 16000 vertical metres during an adventurous eight-day journey which starts in Knysna and ends just outside Cape Town after traversing wide open African plains, majestic mountains, deep ravines, arid semi-deserts, indigenous forests, spectacular coastlines and flourishing vineyards. Erm, yeah. It’s on the table.

From: Mike
Subject: Valerie

Knock! Knock!

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.

“May I help you?” she asked.

“I want to see Valerie,” the man replied.

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.
Perhaps you would prefer someone else,” said the madam.

“No. I must see Valerie,” was the man’s reply.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row–too expensive–and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man. “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?” she asked.

The man replied, “South Carolina.” “Really” she said. “I have family in South Carolina.”

“I know,” the man said. “Your father died, and I am your sister’s attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance.”

The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that are certain:

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer.

Author: Cris Bloomfield

Usually mountain biking in the North.

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