Category: Words

It be Crimbo. Time to kick back and relax with a nice cold one or two. Lots of interesting stuff on the t’internet to look at too, including the fact that some crazy Americans will really try and blend anything…

From: Mike
Subject: IT and Management

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.

He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.?

The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be in IT,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am”, replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.

You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my f******g fault.”

New bike time, but this one isn’t mine. Tyrrell’s been persuaded that a singlespeed is not only the ideal winter bike, but also the ideal commuter and is now the proud owner of a rather shiny and very red Voodoo Wanga thanks to the help of Tim at Sideways Cycles.

It’s been built up with various bits out of the bits box and is set so it can move over to discs in the long term and have some bouncy forks fitted if necessary. Yes it does have an exceptionally long stem, but that was all that was kicking around when we built it up. It’d probably look a lot more in proportion with a nice little 100mm effort.

Riding bouncy and burly motorbikes across muddy fields and jumps always looks so tempting and easy on Tv and Video. Clearly all is not what it seems. This gives new meaning to the term skidmarks. Thanks to Katie for the link.

In other news Andrea has a new job and is moving to Calgary. Living right next to the Rockies can’t be bad at all…

I must admit that at the end of last week I wasn’t very well. A combination of being worn out and a nasty bug in circulation took me out for two days and most of a third was spent slowly recovering. At least the weather was fairly stunning and there was no rain on Thursday, Friday or Saturday, although all Saturday night and Sunday there was a storm and torrential downpours. Guess which day I went riding.

On Saturday night my beautiful girlfriend suggested that we go skating. It is with authority that I can say that ice skating rocks. The centre of Manchester, the infamous Piccadilly Gardens, has been transformed into a winter sports arena (okay they’ve built a temporary artificial ice rink). Whilst queuing it was interesting to see a substantial list of prohibited things. No skating under the infleunce of drink or drugs. No skating in chains of more then two people. Clearly as there was no mention of using mobiles whilst skating, there were people txting and buggering about with camera phones whilst trying not to fall over and take people out with flailing limbs. Not that some people needed much of an excuse to do a Cristiano Ronaldo. In the space of 60 minutes on ice four people were stretchered, wheeled or carried off the ice…

Then on Sunday it was up at 6am. Shortly afterwards I drove to pick Tyrrell up only to get there and upon loading his bike into the car to realise that I’d forgotten my lid. After which we had to drive home to pick it up before getting beck on route and heading up to Ambleside in the Lake District. It was my first proper ride in the Lakes and it was with some of my friends from the Alps over the summer, including the infamous Shoebomber. It was Epic, with riding pretty much from dawn to dusk and it was fantastic to check out the trails with some people who really know the area. It became clear that riding with the hood of a snowboarding jacket up was a definite advantage for avoiding the curse of drips of cold water down the back of the neck. It was more important to keep warm and to be honest I didn’t care if I looked like a tit.

Finishing off with the descent down Loughrigg Terrace was a great end to the day. Even wading through Rydal Water turned out to be a distinctly warmer experience (despite the waste deep water) than we’d been expecting. The trip home saw us all stop off at the Hawkshead Brewery, which has recently relocated to Staverly, for a fine beer. It’s a handy place to go because it’s on the way home and the beer is great!

If you’ve ever been called “Outdoorzy,” Welcome Home – That’s the opening line from a new website that has been setup for people who prefer life in the big wide open spaces of the world. Outdoorzy.com is a one-stop-shop for any outdoor enthusiast and it’s community lets you search for people with similar interests near you. The site let’s you setup a profile and upload images a bit like Flickr, biut the key difference is being able to post trip reports, gear reviews, upcoming events and more.

I found out about the site after being contacted by Wade, the driving force behind the initiative. I think the appeal behind this is that it is not just a mountain biking site, but a truly cross-discipline website. So from a trails users perspective, there is a lot of scope for discussion about trail access and rights. I think it could be a real asset for proactive IMBA members. Wade said:

Hi, I’m dropping a line to “outdoor” bloggers far and near about our site, so I thought I’d give you a shout as well. I checked rothar.com out today and like the posts. Your post yesterday was especially relevant to me. I commute to work a few days a week and have been wondering what some people do about the clothing situation in particular.

Anyway, back to our site. Basically it’s a social networking site for outdoor enthusiasts. You can post/read; reviews, trip reports, gear lists, forum quetions/answers, etc. on a plethora of outdoor activities. Mostly people from the states and Canada so far, but we have a few members in the UK and elsewhere around the globe. We’re trying to build the community, and in these first 6 weeks the site has been live we’ve been gaining members quickly.

Thanks for taking a look, and thanks for the posting on commuting. I need to work on the details of my commute to get it down to a science.

Wade
Outdoorzy.com

I’m in. It looks good to me. Check it out. This is blatantly stolen from the Singletrack website, but it’s important to support the Mountain Rescue people. The Edale Mountain Resuce Team need some help.

Due to redevelopment at Lafarge Cement Works close to Hope, Derbyshire, Edale Mountain Rescue Team have relocated their existing base which was housed in a bay of the existing maintenance workshop into temporary accommodation elsewhere on the site, whilst the maintenance workshop is refurbished to provide office accommodation for Lafarge.

Lafarge have provided three bays of the same building which are being converted into a purpose built rescue and training centre for the team. This new facility should be operational by Easter 2006. Lafarge have been very generous with their support but the team still needs to find £150, 000 by December 2007 to pay for the construction work and fitting out.

The team attends a hundred incidents each year, helping climbers, walkers, mountain bikers and tourists in distress. Incidents occur on many well know areas, Kinder Scout, Losehill, Win Hill, the Derwent Moors, Stanage, Burbage and Froggatt to name a few of the more frequent locations. The team is a charitable organisation, funded entirely by public donation and consists of 50 volunteers who turn out at all times of the day and night to help those in trouble.

If you would like to contribute to the appeal please send donations to the Team Chairman Neil Roden at Edale Mountain Rescue Team, PO Box 6490, Bakewell, DE45 1XR.

Well recently it’s been a while since I managed to forget something in regards to riding into work. The curse of the daily bike commuter is forgetting some vital item that makes the day a work a complete disaster. Until wonders of modern urban design like Canada’s Velo City, become a reality, riding to work involves getting all hot and sweaty at best and getting soaked to the bone and cold at the worst. Commuting in work clothes, especially if that is office wear (shirt, tie, shoes, trousers) just isn’t an option.

As a result hardened riders will have a stash of goodies to make sure they’re not going to suffer the same fate twice. This may involve a bike lock which lives at bike racks. A towel and wash kit, with an emergency pair of pants and socks and a shirt and tie which live in a desk drawer and a pair of shoes in permanent residence under the desk. So after discussing it with some friends here’s a list of the worst things to forget when commuting:

Underwear. Not too bad I suppose as you can always go commando. It gets worse if you managed to break the fly on your trousers or split the seat of your pants on the same day.

Socks. This is particularly bad when you wear business attire.

Shirt. Sitting in stinky merino top all day is not good. Especially when you’re..um…’cuddly’ and the top is a tight fit.

Trousers. A serious omission as 3/4 bibs are not a good look for the office. As Al has described, it is “hard enough to deal with the fallout and ignomony of a pantless day without the ridicule of my smug pant wearing chums”.

Shoes. Clanking round the office in damp cycling shoes is not a good look. Veterans of the Art of the Commute will have strategically stowed a pair that live under the desk. How these can migrate and end up at home is the subject of much debate.

Security ID, swipecard or keys to Work. Worst if you have to open up or are first in. Unpleasant if you have to prove your identity to Security, but at least not so bad as having to go all the way home again.

Keys to Home. The frustration of knowing all day at work that you have locked yourself out. Significantly worse if a) no one else has a set of keys and b) your neighbours call the police thinking your breaking in.

Lights. Quite how you managed this sometimes surprises me. Frequently it’s that day after a night ride or the day after you had to go home before it became dark and so didn’t fit the lights in the morning. I’m not sure if it’s better to have an urban homewards journey where you have to dice with traffic or a rural one where you have to dice with unlit roads. At least in the former case, Scotchlite suddenly becomes the best thing ever. Must remember to eat more carrots.

Food and means to buy food on the same day. This in combination is quite horrible.Deoderant. It’s bad when there is no shower at work. A day without a chemical shower is unbearable.

Towel. Then doing the Mr Bean Limbo dance round the towel machine and hoping no one walks in on you

Family. Forgetting you’re picking your daughter up, then remembering when you’ve 20 mins to do a 40 min commute and having to redline it when you’re broken because you’ve already forgotten to bring any food/means of getting food that day. This can be can be quite bad.

State of Repair. For example, forgetting that your tyres don’t grip on wet leaf-goo slicked descents or that your tyres are shagged and cunningly also forgetting a spare tube and or pump.

You’re a Target. Remember you are virtually invisible to car drivers. Also remember that drivers forget you ever existed the instant their vehicle is alongside you.

Thanks to Jenn, Andy P, Piers, Marty, Alex, Bill, Gavin, Stu N, Simon and Alec.

Despite the fact that the trail has been open for a year, it was only today that Tyrrell and I managed to get around to riding on some new trails in Wales at Penmachno. Just up the road from Betws-y-Coed, it’s a gem of a trail. There is some good information about the route and a map on dilan4.com.

Speaking to some of the people at the car park after the ride it emerges that there are plans to turn the current modest (but great) trails into a much longer 40km route. If that happens it’d be great because the riding was superb. Mega-fast singletrack, lots of exposed rock sheets and armouring and switchbacks going up and down the mountain. I’m contemplating joining up the Marin and Penmachno trails, but I’m sure it’s already been done…

On Thursday night I went up to Calderdale and saw Chipps and everyone at Singletrack. It was good to catch up with people and find out how things are going at the mag. There was also a chance to talk through some ideas for next year. After that we headed up to Mark’s local patch near Burnley and did some riding, on what it turned out was part of the Mary Towneley Loop which I have ridden before and some other bits that were definitely local trails. It was a gorgeous starry night and well worth getting out for on the Singlespeed.

This weekend I was home in Norfolk. It was a brief stop to do some work around the house including firing up the woodburner to test it out and bed it in for winter. It looks like it is going to be a cold one. I also managed to catch up with Herr Thorne down in Suffolk before heading back up in the early hours. The broken leg from Egyptian Kiteboarding is almost healed.

Riding is definitely on the agenda for this weekend. I just need to work out the where and when.

This has been posted in various place across the Internet, but is worth highlighting. Extreme mountain bike rider Stefan Oberlander has successfully jumped off a 3000ft cliff on his Santa Cruz VP-Free, opening a parachute while sitting on the bike and landing and riding off again without putting a foot down. Pictures of the descent jump can be found at on his website