Death is coming and it is shaped like a Toyota Corolla

This morning I rolled out of home and up the road on the way into work. About 200m along the road from home they’re renovating a house and this morning there was a lorry from a builders merchants stopped outside it, blocking the road whilst it unloaded supplies. Well, that is blocking the road to cars, there was still room for a bike. So as I’m approaching to overtake the truck a silver Toyota Corolla overtakes me at about 30mph then cuts me up by turning right immediately across my path.

At first I thought he was turning into one of the houses which have drives that join the road. Whilst I was processing all this I was rather busy wondering whether the bike, which was now fully locked up on the brakes, was going to hit the wall first or the pesky heap of Japanese crap forcing me off the road. I was saved not my any inherent bike handling prowess, but by the fact that the Toyota driver had absolutely no intention of entering one of the properties.

The reason he didn’t kill me was due to his next genius piece of driving. The swerve right was just so he could mount the pavement and once on it, he then proceeded to gun it one wheel on the footpath and the other one grass verge up the road under the trees and between the wall and the parked delivery truck. All very Duke of Hazzard, complete with little clouds of dust and leaves getting blown out the back. Then once clear it was a swerve around the bollards and back onto the tarmac.

I was soooo hoping that the driver was going to get stopped at the lights so I could pull then out of the car and beat them senseless. Or just make a note of the registration plate. Unfortunately they went the other way and there was no way I could catch them up. After that, the other two loons that tried to take me out on the way to work just paled into insignificance.

Author: Cris Bloomfield

Usually mountain biking in the North.

One thought on “Death is coming and it is shaped like a Toyota Corolla”

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