Wuthering Bikes

Few more people have posted photos up from the Oxenhope ride at the weekend you can find them here, here and here. There’s even some of me drinking beer. Lots of people are using Yahoo’s Flickr technology at the moment to share photos. I found these photos of explosions the other day athe thought that they were fairly inspiring – check ’em out.

I get the distinct impression that this isn’t true:

From: Mike
Subject: Speeding

A little story! While I was driving down the A40 the other day, (going a little faster than
I should have been) and as I passed under a bridge I saw a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk asked:

“Runway too short??

To which I replied, “I’m late for work.”

To which he asked, “What do you do?”

I responded, “I’m a rectum stretcher”

The copper was surprised and confused. “A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”

“Well,” I said, “I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it’s about 6 feet.”

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, “And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?”

To which I politely replied, “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge …”

Speeding ticket: £105.00

Penalty Points : 3

Court costs: £45

Look on copper’s face: Priceless.

Author: Cris Bloomfield

Usually mountain biking in the North.

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