“The 10 km descent took us two hours and was a big mix of smooth dirt singletrack, wide grassy runways hemmed in by ancient stone walls, rocky technical sections with water ditches and stone staircases”. Sounds like a real hardship doesn’t it? Check out Grady Semmens’ account of riding over 170 km in Peru and taking in more than 9,000 metres of (mostly) downhill riding in six days over at

Take one made Polish mountain biker, give him a mad mission like riding across three deserts and having to be entirely self sufficient and give him a camera and a load of other survival gear and leave him to get on with it. Oh, and don’t forget the Surly Pugsley.

If you’ve got to go, you gotta go big. So said Bender. Well he’s been living up to that motto ever since, but has now unfortunately had a nasty off as sensationalised over at MBUK. What really happened is described in more journalistic etyle here.

From: Katie
Subject: Chain letter from Billy Connolly

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion f**king chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Queensland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show. And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone to whom you send “his” email, $1000?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!” What a bunch of bulls**t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

F*ck ’em.

If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being” forwards about 90 times.

I don’t f*cking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it’s our own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it’s funny, send it on.

Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know, or otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

PS: Send me 15 bucks and Then F*ck Off

Finally after seeing these photos from Lucy and Phil at Bike Verbier I have decided that this snow biking mullarky really does have to be done…

Author: Cris Bloomfield

Usually mountain biking in the North.

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