Been looking at the Cotic frames today. Looks nice, but however much I miss my old S-Works steel, the M5 doesn’t get enough action as it is and I’m trying to concentrate on getting the FSR back up and running for the beginning of April. And for that little project I’m still saving for wheels and disc brakes, with BETD seat stays and riser bars probably on the cards too.
Quotes have been on the STW agenda today. One person springs to mind as a significant idol in the use of proverbs and general intellect: David Brent, a man of wisdom:
1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
3. There may be no ‘I’ in team, but there’s a ‘ME’ if you look hard enough.
4. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly.
5. Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.
6. Never do today that which will become someone elses responsibility tomorrow.
7. Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think.
8. Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a LOSER!
9. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency – welcome to a day in the average office.
10. It’s the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo? If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.
11. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
12. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”
13. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
14. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
15. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven’t understood the seriousness of the situation.
16. You don’t have to be mad to work here! In fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not.
17. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you’re trying to get them sacked.
18. If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
19. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
20. If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
21. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
22. There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’. But then there’s no ‘I’ in ‘useless smug colleague’, either. And there’s four in ‘platitude-quoting idiot’. Go figure.
23. Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can’t do.
24. Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk.
25. Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.
26. If you’re gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.
27. Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn’t do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style.
28. The office is like an army, and I’m the field general. You’re my footsoldiers and customer quality is the WAR!!!
29. Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario. 30. Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man – more for leaning on than illumination.
31. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone elses?
32. Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?….
33. You don’t have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!!
34. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.
35. Avoid employing unlucky people – throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
Finally had a good look at some maps from Ordnance Survey Ireland today that arrived whilst I was away. Bit gutted to find that after waiting for 2 months for them I’m still missing some coverage from the area I was trying to get. I can see more phone calls coming up. Indoor on the phone means not being outdoors on the bike. Talking of which Graeme MacPuppy has the old P7 built up. Looking good and I’m glad it’s gone to a good home.
Bit a reminder of the Guernsey days today and Kirk revolution frames. It seems not all of them returned to Dawes having gone wibbly wobbly. Looks like Leon, Mark & Co. from Team Sheep have been hacking things into pieces again.