Author: Cris Bloomfield

Back to the wonderful world of bikes, working in a bike shop at times is a good way to earn some money. At other times it’s just the pits. Few guys in yesterday who are going to be doing the Iron Lemming this year. I think I’m jealous. Sounds like it’s going to be a big couple of days out. Maybe I should get my arse in shape and get down there and do it.

Big Jonny’s been busy of late keeping his site updated and it puts my efforts on this site to shame. Bastard. Anyway he linked into this from Something Awful, which I must admit I had forgotten about – well I’d lost the link since I moved over to the new PC last October. Need to add that back into my list.

Jed and I have been discussing our big ride this summer. Well… we still both want to do it. Obviously that’s not the same as having a well laid plan, but it’s a start. Of course our plans won’t have a patch on some of the tales on here.

Georgette sent me an e-mail which simply said: No, really, this one IS funny… She’s right.

Been back to Norfolk for a long weekend and managed to hook-up with Jed for a trip down to Thetford. The place has changed yet again and I continue to find it really hard to orientate myself down there. The trails were great though. The singletrack down there isn’t the swoopy stuff you find in Wales, but it is the stuff that really pushes you to go harder and the faster you ride it the better it flows.

Jed knows that place better than anyone I know so I was just following him through most of it. Well except the bit where I went first and managed to lose him – sorry mate. Anyway had a wicked time and can’t wait to ride it again.

As the titanium spokes hadn’t showed up I needed some new wheels for the M5, so I bought a pair of Crossmax from the shop and hooked on some Conti Cross County’s on them. Some of the guys in Guernsey used to race on these skinny little bad boys all year round. They’re so skinny they look like ‘cross tyres. Plenty of grip, but they cut the trails up really badly and on such a rigid bike, you just need some comfort from the tyres. Something a bit bigger needs to be tried.

Of course when I arrived home, the spokes from Marwi had arrived. That’s just typical that is. Anyway this link to a website about crap towns was the highlight of my afternoon at work, the productivity of which was far from high after reading it.

This is in from Big Dave:

From: Big Dave
Subject: On my way out!

Today I start outprocessing Camp Doha, Kuwait. Thank goodness. This place is starting to get crowded again and it’s getting really hot.

Lots of marines are rolling back in and washing their vehicles before they put them on the ships. The are grubby messes when they come into the chow hall. They usually spend about 3 days here, then head to the docks. You can tell they are ready to get on the ship. They can shower and do laundry then just sleep away the time until they get home. It’s about 35 days to California and about 21 to the east coast.

The rest of us are awaiting airplanes. Hopefully sometime next week. Too bad I’m not in good enough shape to race Big Bear. I’d be sucking major wind.

Jen’s gonna be killing me on the bike. She’s doing her 8th stage race since I left. She’s currently holding 8th right now at the Gila. I’m going to be crying for about 2 or 3 weeks I’m sure.

Johnny Smoke from radical films sent me the Kranked DVD’s. I finally found a computer that would run the DVD-r. Great photography and some sick riding. Too bad it was quiet time and we couldn’t turn up the volume. Some dudes didn’t believe they were riding bicycles. Thanks Johnny. I’m trying to get a photo emailed to me so I can email it to you.

I’m motivated to get home. I’ve got some mandatory leave saved up that I will have to use, then I’ll be back to the B.S. I’ll probably get tooled around for a few months, then hopefully I’ll be out soon.

Thanks for all the care packages and stuff that you guys sent. You made many more soldiers other than myself very happy…and you saved us a huge wait in the PX lines. I stopped by the other day, they still have not let up.

Big Dave

Took the road bike out today and road out to the Peaks, had a fantastic ride through the Goyt Valley in the sunshine, but from then on things deteriorated rapidly. I managed to avoid most of the Cat and Fiddle by riding in the lanes, but had to join onto it for about half a km to get to the next bit of lane, all was going well to just before my turn off, when I was overtaken by a HGV on a blind corner. I was doing about 45mph, so this guy must have been leathering it into what is really quite a tight bend. The licence plate was M4 TDR and you my friend are a f’ing liability. I appreciate that you may be on a mission to get to an early grave, but please don’t take me with you.

I stumbled across this today, which seemed pretty appropriate:

HGV Drivers

Lorry drivers perfect the art of driving right up your arse by looking the wrong way through a pair of binoculars whilst driving. It’s not surprising to know that most accidents on motorways are caused by these ‘steering wheel attendants’. Often found chatting to their colleagues on their CB radio, these motorists can usually be found driving with little or no consideration for other road users. Is it any wonder they have signs saying “How am I driving?” on the back of their trailers – even they don’t know how they manage it – clearly!

The most dangerous HGV drivers are foreign lorry drivers. Take emergency avoiding action away from any foreign-registered HGV at all costs!

You can read more here. Crucially there is no section concerning Mercedes drivers, who in my opinion deserve a category of their own way above the BMW, Volvo and Rover drivers of this world. Merc drivers in my experience have managed to attain a pretty much pish poor level. Well done.

Anyway my run-in with that numb nuts was only the beginning of an exciting ride home. Several other lunatics decided to overtake me on blind corners (what were they driving? A Merc and a Rover) and then the heavens opened. I received a royal soaking and the drop in temperature wasn’t welcomed much either. Anyway it wasn’t looking too bad, with only the traffic chaos of Rusholme to overcome. I don’t know what the Council thinks its doing in Rusholme, but I can pretty much say what they’re not doing – keeping the bicycle lanes clear.

Obviously people need to be educated in that place, the green strips of tarmac with pictures of bikes on are not parking bays you cretins. Oh how I would love to get a Caterpillar bulldozer and clear a path though that place. Anyway I managed to negotiate it by the skin of my teeth, with only one idiot failing to see me despite the fact that I was wearing yellow and black kit pretty much head to toe. I must have looked like a giant bumble bee.

The best thing about to day? A link to this. Oh how I laughed.

Deadline day at work. Many stressed people.

Spoke to Biker tonight, he’s been enjoying the tail end of the season out in Switzerland. Well maybe a bit too much as he managed to get ko’d after doing a cliff drop. Landing turned out to be a bit harder than expected and he ended up with brain shake apparently. He’s bounced back to good health though and seemed okay today.

This summers plan to ride in lots of new places now includes a trip out to Zermatt. I can feel a road trip coming up… mmm biking in the shadow of the Matterhorn.

Goodtimes.

Damn it’s been one helluva week. Work. Beer. Hangover. Curry. More Curry. Work. More work. Today I actually managed to get out on a bike. The weather, which has degenerated back into a state not too dissimilar to last year, actually improved slightly this afternoon.

Of course I was up at some ungodly hour to go riding this morning so I was lucky enough to experience the soaked through/drying out experience repeatedly. Which was nice. Was kind of expecting it, but… So with my new aim of riding in lots of new places this year, I have procured Mike Pearce’s guide to the Peak District and Derbycestershire.

Today I tackled a ride based loosely on route 5, and took the singlespeed out to Carsington Water near Ashbourne. I say based on because 19 miles ain’t very much riding for almost two hours of driving to get there, so I extended it a bit (and managed to get lost a couple of times) It turned out to be quite well suited to the singlespeed (now running 36:17) and I really enjoyed it.

I think the most exciting thing about the whole ride were a couple of greasy muddy descents, with both tyres clogged up with mud and a fully rigid set up it reminded me of all the winter racing in Guernsey. It was a good laugh. Found this today from the mind of RHS – another page to add to the links.

Talking of which the Drop-In video link ain’t working anymore. If you want a copy e-mail me.

This is in from Big Dave:

From: Big Dave
Subject: fastest ways to get home

It’s interesting to see how many people are going home now. Most are going home becuase their orders have dictated such. Some units just arrived, and they got turned back around to go home. Now that would have been sweet.
Lots of people get sent home on “emergency leave.” Some people are fortunate enough to not have to buy airplane tickets home for this reason. Their units are cool and tell them to stay home and they will meet back up with them in the states. Other units are asses and make their soldiers pay for the tickets. The only reasons for emergency leave are a death in the immediate family.
Other soldiers get sent home after being severely wounded. And of course, POW’s get sent home as well (too bad the are being detained again once they get home). They are supposed to be sent on leave and they can be discharged if they want out. The guys at Ft. Bliss are basically being sequestered.
The last method of getting sent home is….pregnancy. Last week a plane with 52 pregnant females took off for the states. I wonder how many of them will be headed home to their husbands! Hi honey, I’m home!!! Whoops.
Lot’s of people are still arriving, eager to go to Bagdad. Most return with a bewildered look on their face – disappointed with what they had to deal with up there. There are still more troops coming in than going home. We’ll see how long this lasts.
Big Dave

Well after being stuck in the postal system for all of Easter my Vanilla shock finally arrived back from Tim Flooks all clean and tuned up, ready to rock. Tim’s custom valved it to give better characteristics with the greater travel the FSR is now kicking out. Well I’ve fitted it, I just need some time to get out and ride it now.

The back injury I sustained in the RTA that killed the De Rosa has been playing up something chronic for the last few days. This morning’s planned ride was cancelled because of it. I’m off to the doctors tomorrow and hopefully I’ll get to the bottom of it with an MRI scan. I shouldn’t complain too much, I can still get about, I’m just walking like an apeman at the moment until my back loosens up enough to let me stand up straight. It could be worse I could have smashed my heels like Darren Butler did as shown in episode 8 of the infamous drop in series – was it really August last year that happened?

I came across this the other day and mentioned it to some people, along with some research on the effects of fatigue on soldiers carried out by the US Army, here’s the feedback:

From: Big Jonny
Subject: RE: Fatigue does strange things to soldiers

Northwave,

I’m reading the article and I can’t quite figure out why everyone is making such a big deal about body armor. Whether he was wearing it or not, or whether it was correctly issued to him makes no difference in the end. The man is dead.

I don’t know, perhaps I’m being to dark. It’s just to much some times.

This whole things just fucking sucks. And now we’re squaring away on Syria. Oh for fucks sake. I need another beer.

Thanks for holding it down on your side of the pond.

big jonny out

Happy Easter

from rothar.com. click here…

Finally managed to get some photos of the E5. About time I’d say.

I am knackered after this week with not much to report riding-wise. My desk at home is covered in ash from the fires up on the moors in the Peak District. Looks like rain is imminent, which should help, but they’re going to need a lot of it to quench it out properly, because otherwise the peat will just burn underground. If we get it up here, all that rain is going to mean some muddy trails.

Not that that will matter much to me because the Royal Mail have still not managed to return my shock yet which was off at Tim Flooks for some fettling and the FSR isn’t much use without it.

Word is that Conradski has been frequenting the hospitals of France again. Something about a 15 metre cliff drop and two and a bit weeks being kept in with internal bleeding. He’s not been skiing long enough to be trying crazy stuff like that. I reckon he should have stuck to biking – his potential was really apparent there.

This is the latest on Iraq from someone out there in the thick of it:

From: Big Dave
Subject: occupation forces

This place here is more crowded than ever. Tons of people coming in from the camps to get stuff before they head to the land of change. We have sent hundreds of contractors north to take care of our troops with the stuff that is too high tech for troops to figure out. They are living by the water bottle up there. Lots of people keep coming back with Sadaam bucks. Stacks of it. I don’t understand how anybody figures out what they are worth. Some people are straight up selling the Iraqi bills for american cash. Total chaos.

The former baath members and anybody who had any type of influence in the past regime are now your local pawn dealers and corner marketeers. They are all selling the stuff they looted. If they don’t have what you need, they’ll have it for you the next day. Where the hell they get it all from is a mystery. It doesn’t even phase the military as they are paying cash money to the iraqis for stuff they need. Now that they are working side by side with former baath policemen, there’s not much they need up there.

My intel friends are appalled. They can’t believe we allowed their police force to go back out on the streets with firearms. They say it’s like the US hiring the SS to police the streets of Germany after WWII. Scary stuff.

Now they are all protesting our “occupation.” They really do not like that Jay Garner guy. He’s a big hero in my unit. He defended the patriot missile after the first round. Got a bunch of press for it and ended up lining the pockets of many defense contractors with hefty contracts related to missile defense. The stuff works for sure. Almost too well. Even lost a couple of friendly planes to it this time around. Whoops…collateral damage.

It will be suprising if the Iraqis allow the american contractors to come in and fix up the country. I would not be suprised if they chose to live in squallor before they allowed an american company to come in and to “charity” work for them. I see these people as being fiercly independent, yet stupid and stuborn enough to drive out a helping hand. We’ll see what happens in a few short weeks.

Hope all is well in the yellow zone back there in the good ole USA. Can’t wait to get back there to participate in the real fight….that damn Patriot Act. ACLU membership is way up. Too bad I can’t get to their web page here….BLOCKED!!!

Big Dave

Last night was a good case of liver punishment thanks to some of Belgian’s finest beer. Today I feel unfit and rather in need of more sleep than I’m going to get. At the time it seemed like a good idea. As did the kebab on the way home. The cold light of morning always sheds a different light on such things.

Laura’s been racing out in Colorado and managed a good 10th spot in a recent Traithlon. She’s too modest to admit it, but she’s a bit of legend when it comes to running, biking, snowboarding – probably pretty much anything she turns her hand to. Jealous yet?

Finally finished my write up on the Enduro test ride. Read it here.

I’ve been playing with the E5 today. All this summer weather finally has me in the road bike mood. Now just watch it tip it down before I get a chance to do some mileage. Photos coming soon I hope. I’ve been having a right faff with the integrated headset. It now seems to be working okay since I removed the rubber seal from above the upper bearing. Need to get some miles in before I can tell if the original problem of the steering tightening up is going to come back to haunt me.

I’ve also been looking at a successor. One of these looks very nice. But WTF is going on with the build up on that. The forks might grow on me, but those wheels? That seatpost and white bar tape? Pearson would not be impressed with that, maybe if he gets a Litespeed it’ll look a whole lot better.

This came in from Big Dave. Life in the Gulf just sounds dull for this rider right now

From: Big Dave
Subject: Get paid to rally!!!!

Here’s a good one for everybody.

The local Kuwaiti paper had a small (and I emphasize small) article involving the following:

Remember all the Pro-American rallies that were being held in Kuwait City and other places around the world? Well this article tells about a wealthy Gulf resident who was at work watching tv. (no one really works in the gulf) He’s watching this rally and he sees his maid carrying a sign in the rally. He goes home and she shows up. He asked her what she was doing at the rally. She said she went to the rally because she got paid $10 american dollars and a free lunch.

What’s up with that? Sounds like Operation Ajax in Iran.

Dave

Sent my trusty Vanilla R off to Mr Flooks this morning, I think it’s due a good fettling and the fact that the bushings had gone was spoiling my otherwise lovely FSR – Talking of which Specialized currently have this good little animated set of sequences that allow the FSR four bar linkage to be compared to most of the other types. I still reckon the FSR design is the benchmark for good suspension design.

Bled disc brakes for the first time last night. The hose on my M4 was about six inches too long and had to be shortened before I snagged it on something. Despite three sets of instructions, I still managed to pop one of the pistons out of the caliper, whilst getting all the fluid out. I have now found a use for some of those old toothbrushes I’ve been hoarding under the sink. They’re the perfect size and shape to wedge the pistons in place whilst bleeding. Anyway managed not to get DOT fluid everywhere and they seem to be working as well as before now they’re back together.

Inspected the bike from Sunday’s ride and have put quite a few scuffs, gouges and chips on the Crossmax XLs, they’re still running true and seem okay and it was to be expected, but …

Came home from work last night to find that Wiggle’s goodies had been delivered, a rather lovely Windvest from Pearl Izumi and a little bottle opener thrown in for good measure. Freebies, freebies.

An old topic surfaced again today. I’ve mentioned the disk brake and standard quick release drop out issue before. It isn’t going away. Read the latest debate here.

There was also this good link posted on the STW forum today about SUVs. I didn’t realise that they were becoming so popular in the UK. I’ve only seen one Ford Explorer being driven around. What a crap concept. About as practical as doing the school run in a Hummer. Fine in Baghdad, pointless in Chelsea.